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I saw this on the TV the other night and thought it was the funniest thing I've heard in years... It is the secret special snooker words to Lady in Red.... You can see the video by clicking on the link below.

http://www.youtub...ZPQNVWUXEU

"Never seen you looking so shiny as you did tonight
Never seen your baize so tight
You are amazing

I've never seen so many players wonder if the long pot is on
Looking for a little Cann-on
A cut as thin as a thong

And I have never seen such a clearance
Such a clearance of all the pots in every way
No more safety play

Table of reds
Is dancing with me
Cush to cush

Nothing is wrong
This big pink is on
But where?s the cue ball gone

And I hardly know
To play with stun or side

Never to forget
This shot to nothing life
Never to forget
My Table of Reds"

"Never seen you looking so oblong as you did tonight
Never seen your angles so right
You were a table

Never seen so many players tremble when they contemplate you
Chalking 'til their tips turn blue
Shaping for a screw

And I will never need another
I could reach that awkward green if you said yes
I won't need the rest

Table of reds
Is dancing with me
Cush to cush

Nothing is wrong
This big pink is on
But where?s the cue ball gone

And I hardly know
To play with stun or side

Never to forget
This shot to nothing life
Never to forget
My Table of Reds, table of reds..."